whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk:

ophelias-revenge:

there-was-a-girl:

official-justine-troondeau:

achapstickdyke:

getoffmyastroterf:

toppdyke:

death-magic-doom:

lesbiain:

swerfin-n-terfin:

radfemkinda:

xxpolishvermin:

hashtagnotallmen:

transgender-harms-women:

How I realised my child was transgender – and how I’m doing everything I can to help him

(Bolding by me, transgender-harms-women)

Eight years old may seem like a
very early age to make such an important decision, but Ave knew that he
wanted to be a boy ever since he was born a girl.

According
to The Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS), 969 children under
the age of 18 have been referred to them due to gender identity issues,
with almost 200 being 12 years old or younger.

Thanks
to love and support from his family, friends and teachers, Ave has been
able to become who he truly feels is himself. His mum, Fiona, tells us
how she realised her child felt uncomfortable in the gender she was
assigned to, and how she’s determined to make sure her son feels happy
throughout his journey as a transgender person.

My son hasn’t been forced into being a boy – he’s always wanted to be one, and we’ve decided to let him be his happiest.
Parents like myself often feel like they have no choice but to hide
away and keep their kids’ identities secret – we’re not doing that.

We’d
had an inkling since Ava started nursery, when they produced a yellow
gingham dress. Tears rolling down her cheeks, she declared: ‘I’m not
wearing that!’

The reaction didn’t come as much of a surprise – Ava had never been one
for girly clothes. For years, I’d insisted on buying elaborate Christmas
Day dresses for her, but they’d be off within the hour.

‘Don’t
worry, at least you got to take a nice picture of Ava with the dress
on,’ my husband would say, but I was confused – I didn’t understand why
she hated all the clothes I bought.

I tried buying boyish looking girls’ clothes, but she soon realised I
was conning her. She even started checking the inside the clothes to see
what the label said.

‘I’m not wearing that – it’s for girls,’ she would protest.

By
2014 I gave in and bought Ava boys’ clothes from Zara. We took a trip
to Paris, and one evening we went on a dinner boat cruise down the
Seine.

Ava was wearing a little suit, a shirt and a tie with her
long blonde hair loose down her back. While seating us, the waiter
said, ‘Would sir like to sit here?’ and Ava was absolutely beaming from
ear to ear.

‘He thought I was a boy!’ she grinned.

Once she’d got her own way with the clothes, Ava’s determination grew,
and she asked to cut her hair. I was absolutely gutted – it was so
beautiful, with long blonde curls down to her bottom that had been
growing since she was a baby.

Still, I said to the hairdresser that it was all coming off.

‘I don’t think I can do it,’ he replied. ‘Well, we’re going to have to,’ I told him.

After
the first cut, Ava asked for her hair to be shorter and shorter – it
stopped looking like a shorter trendy girls’ hairstyle, and like an
actual boys’ cut. Within two months it was eventually shaved.

Ava now looked like a boy, and at eight and a half years old, I realised how much she truly wanted to be one.

‘You
need to know that this might be really difficult… some people might
bully you, this is probably going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever
have to go through,’ I told her fearfully.

‘Yes, Mummy – I really want to be a boy,’ she replied.

We
made a deal. ‘Over the summer holidays, you can transition to be a boy.
If it works for you and you’re happy, then you can go back to school in
September as a boy,’ I said.

That summer, we went to Turkey,
and because nobody knew us, it gave us time to practice. We kept getting
it wrong and forgetting she was now a he.

‘Ava, Ava,’ we’d call, and he’d say, ‘You’ve got it wrong again – it’s Ave, I’m a boy.’

It
worked – he even won an award for ‘most handsome boy’ from the hotel
staff. Stephen and I nearly died – we looked at each other with an
expression that just read, ‘No!’ – but Ave was over the moon.

However, our joy quickly turned to nerves again when we had to go back through passport control.

‘Well… you don’t look much like your photo, do you?’ said the security official to Ave.

‘No,
I don’t – but that’s because I used to be a girl. My mummy said it was
okay, and I get to be a real boy now!’ he replied, adding proudly: ‘And I
just won the ‘Most Handsome Boy’ award at the hotel!’

‘You’re very brave!’ she told him.

‘I
know,’ he said, and at the time he was – but later, he admitted to me:
‘You’ve got to change my passport photo, I don’t want to have to do that
again.’

Ave has autism,
specifically the type which was previously Asperger’s. He’s very
bright, and spends hours on computer games, but hates school unless he
really likes the subject.

Back in England, our GP referred us
to a children’s mental health and wellbeing service, who then referred
him to The Tavistock Foundation. Our paediatrician explained that whilst
most autistic children are boys, apparently a high percentage of
autistic girls feel they can associate more with the male gender than
with the female gender.

All the pieces of Ave’s puzzle seemed
to be falling into place. Before school started, I emailed Ave’s
headteacher to notify her of the change. The headteacher was great,
seeking support from other heads who have experience with transgender
children and also Mermaids, a charity for transgender children. The head
had a letter drafted to inform parents of Ave’s decision.

It
was mostly well received, I know there have been some comments but we
try to surround ourselves with positive people who support us. There was
also a discussion as to which toilets Ave would use. Legally he can use
either, but he eventually made the decision to use the disabled toilet
(which he says smells better anyway!).

Despite the plans in place, the night before term began, I suddenly
felt overwhelmingly panicked about Ave showing his new self so soon.

‘You know this isn’t going to be easy, right? People might bully you or say nasty things,’ I warned him.

‘I know, Mummy. It will all be fine, don’t worry.’

Inspired
by his confidence, I decided to write a Facebook post to all our
friends and family explaining Ave’s transition. It was met with so much
love and support that I couldn’t believe it.

‘Well done you for posting this and for supporting Ave. He is very brave
to make this decision but life is long and he can’t go through life
being someone he isn’t. Good for him to do it and to all the family
standing by him and supporting him,’ commented one family friend.

Since
Ave’s transition, the headteacher has made changes to make school more
gender-inclusive, like rearranging the registration lines in the
morning. They used to line up by gender, but now line up in two groups
in alphabetical order, and in P.E., the kids can choose whatever sports
they want – netball isn’t just for girls.

A tricky situation
arose when a classmate decided she wanted to be Ave’s girlfriend, but
the headteacher called me to tell me how well he’d handled it.

‘I’m
really sorry but I can’t be your boyfriend,’ he had replied. ‘At the
moment it’s just not right for me, and it’s too complicated to explain
to you.’

We’ve always known that Ave likes girls. He gets angry
when other kids call him ‘gay’, because he doesn’t feel he likes other
boys in that way: ‘Face up to it, Mummy – we both know that I’m not a
real boy yet. I’m not gay, I’m just a boy,’ he tells me.

I know
that the sexuality part of Ave’s transition may be complicated, but it’s
something we’ll address when it starts to surface.

plenty of girls with asperger’s (including myself) are gender non-conforming and don’t take well to the restrictive gender roles placed on females. the problem here is not with the girl’s birth sex, but with a society which expects girls to wear impractical, often uncomfortable clothes and perform femininity. because guess what? you can have short hair and still be a girl! you can wear “boy clothes" and still be a girl! the fact that the child’s parents takes their autistic child’s rejection of gender roles as evidence that they’re actually a boy–and thus must undergo irreversible hormone treatments and surgeries that an eight-year-old literally cannot consent to–is a symptom of our gender-sick society. which is, quite frankly, tragic. 

and this mother makes clear she and her husband did try to push feminine stereotypes on their daughter. like how did they expect this girl to react? a girl who bc of her neurological makeup is predisposed to have sensory issues AND to interpret things more literally than her peers (so more prone to the “i’m not acting like a girl? i must not be a girl” type of thinking)?

STOP REINFORCING YOUR CHILDREN’S UNEDUCATED BIASES! THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT THAT FUCKS ME UP MAN

This excuse of a mother can roast in hell for all eternity.

this is literally the new ‘acceptable’ form of conversion therapy

Goddamn…. the parents sound ignorant as shit.

This is medical child abuse & brainwashing

My daughter has aspergers. When she was little she would only wear boys track suits (which was mostly cause they had the to characters on them that she liked I think. The “girl” options were all dresses). She went thru a super “girly” period, and now she goes for comfort (with style). Never, not once, did I think “she must be a boy”. These parents are so fucked up. Chugging down the kool aid like its going out of fashion.

“I’m not gay, I’m just a boy.”

So, we, as a society, are just completely comfortable with basically reversing the discourse to the early 20th century and calling homosexuals inverts? 

No! You’re not same-sex attracted! You’re just a man!

This is disgusting.

This should be illegal.

Let little girls have short/shaved hair and wear comfy clothes! We are regressing backwards at an alarming rate here! Girls are not girls because we love pink and wearing frilly dresses! End gender stereotypes! End sexism that says girls naturally are quiet and passive and non athletic and feminine!

Crying for all my fellow tomboys and girls who just want to be comfortable and/or practical instead of frilly feminine cupcake looking dolls sitting around on the sidelines of life.

this is so sad

Family delighted to set their autistic lesbian daughter down the path to sterilization