gaypeopletwitter:

deartoxicfriend:

Dear Toxic (ex) Friend

Trying to put myself first has been a struggle, but I seriously am trying to do so. You always put yourself first, so I guess I learned it from you? In any case, im trying to be positive, trying to form new connections, trying to move on with my life. You burned my bridges for me, and so it’s time for me to start over.

likeeverysinglewishweevermade:

Dear ex-best friend

I miss you

I shouldn’t

But I do

You mean so much more to me

Then I ever meant to you

And I’m tired of it

Tired of wondering if you still think of me

If you ever thought of me

Because you are

And will always be on my mind

deartoxicfriend:

I think the thing that hurts the most is that I’m fairly certain I won’t find someone to replace what you were to me. I didn’t have a best friend, not the kind I wanted, growing up. But then I met you. And it was great, until I realized it wasn’t. Now I’m stuck wanting what I didn’t really have.

unfortunateminx:

Hey

I know we haven’t talked in a while

But my heart kinda hurts

Nothing can really replace

What you were to me

Or fill that empty space

I still think of you every now and then

Still think “she’d like this”

And sometimes send myself texts

Meant for you

I dont know what else to say

Except that I was lost and confused

I’m trying to find my way back

To a world without you

But anyways it’s okay

No hard feelings I guess

deartoxicfriend:

I do wish you well with your life. I want no part of it anymore, but I hope you find peace. Somewhere far away from me.

honey-brii:

“how hard do I have to try before you care about me again”

— the more i try, the more i realize you never will

forgotenwhispers:

I’m sorry if you think our friendship can be repaired sometime after we can actually get a break from each other. Maybe it can but I don’t want to, I want to move on from you. This isn’t the first time you’ve hurt me, but it’ll be the last. I simply cannot put my heart through that hurt with you again. I can’t hope that if we repair it that you won’t hurt me again because you will, I can’t be close to you again. This is goodbye for good.

northw0man:

Backstory: I had been wearing a full face of makeup since I was 15. I stopped 6 months ago, at age 25, and it was a long time coming. I had a lot of anxiety about my skin, and as a teenager, hoped that I’d be able cover up any imperfections then, and as an adult, my skin would be fine and perfect and all my problems would go away. Surprise! It didn’t happen. But the compulsion to keep doing it stayed, and I couldn’t leave the house unless my blemishes, along with my natural skin, were covered. Sometimes, I’d cry when I would do my makeup in the morning because wished so hard that I was perfect so I didn’t have to do it, I wanted to stop hating myself, I wanted my skin to be perfect so I could stop hating myself, and was miserable that it wasn’t. I was 24 when I first let a partner see me without makeup. My mental health was a mess because of this compulsion, but I’ve been able to turn things around for myself, and I’m making this post for women and girls who’d like to do that as well.

Some things I noticed when I stopped wearing makeup:

1. I had been constantly scrutinizing myself when I was wearing makeup. Either mentally, worrying about if it’s smudged or sliding off my face, or maybe if my blemishes are insufficiently concealed, or looking at myself in mirrors to make sure it’s all okay and touch it up if needed. All of these little actions, repeatedly, every day, over the course of a decade, conditioned me to see my made-up face as my “natural” face, and my makeup-free face as unnatural and wrong, because I was so not used to seeing it. When I stopped wearing it? There was nothing to worry about. There was nothing to “check” in the mirror, cause that was as good as it’s gonna get. When I was looking into a mirror, I saw me, and kept seeing me. Now, I don’t look twice. 
2. When you stop wearing makeup, people (mostly strangers, but sometimes people you know) will not be as nice to you as they were when you were wearing it, this is especially true for how much less polite men become. Tune in to how you are treated and responded to on a day when you put a lot of energy into your appearance to how you are responded to when you go out just as you are. By being treated better when you wear makeup (even when you don’t notice), you are being conditioned to *feel* better when you wear it. It takes a lot of effort to learn to feel good regardless of how people respond to you, but it’s well worth it. 
3. You probably saw this one coming, but my skin cleared up dramatically. However, my general well being improved. Fewer mood swings, my PMS symptoms improved – I swear there’s something in foundation that fucks with your hormones.  
4. In my day-to-day life, among my friends and my coworkers, nothing really changed. I had hated myself without makeup so much, that I was absolutely convinced that the people around me would hate me without it too. It was almost as if I convinced myself that by wearing makeup, I was doing other people a favor, being polite by concealing how gross I really am – ridiculous! It turned out, those who knew me and liked me continued to know me and like me without my makeup – in fact, I was more engaged in my interactions with them and my relationships were enriched because I didn’t have a part of my brain worrying about how I looked. 

Random things you’ll be able to enjoy so much more when you stop wearing makeup!

• sleeping
• no worrying about getting makeup on your pillow if you take a random nap
• if you’re staying over with someone, no sneaking into the bathroom to put your makeup back on for when they wake up (yes, I have done this). 
• spontaneous ventures outside your home
• forget prep time! just jump right out the door!
• swimming/physical activity that makes you wet or sweaty
• at the beach, at the pool, wherever! the best waterproof mascara is no mascara 🙂 
• you can literally wash your face whenever you feel like it????
• intimacy
• no worrying about getting your foundation on them/their clothes/their belongings
• no stress about “what if my makeup rubs off and they no longer think I’m attractive” – trust me, you’ll never be able to fully enjoy intimacy if your focus is on how you look to the other person. 
• knowing that if someone likes you, they know and like you in your most natural authentic form!
• face kisses??? the best thing???
• existing peacefully in public spaces
• the amount of street harassment I experienced from men decreased drastically when I stopped wearing makeup. Not performing femininity makes women more invisible, and sometimes there is safety in that. 
• just randomly being able to touch your face!
• taking clothes off! 
• resting your cheek on your hand!
• rubbing your eyes!

You are not going to instantly feel good about yourself when you stop, and some days will be more difficult than others. Here are some affirmations to tell yourself to help you start or keep going:

• My decision to not wear makeup is making rich white men lose money, which sucks for them, cause they tried so hard to get rich through chipping away at my self esteem. Joke’s on them! I’m reclaiming my power to say no! I win!
• My decision to not wear makeup allows me to use the time and money I save on activities and treats that I enjoy. I can also use this money and to help others. 
• My decision not to wear makeup ensures that the people in my life are there because they like who I am, not because they approve of how well I conform to femininity
• My decision to not wear makeup signals to other women and girls that this is okay to do. Simply by being visible as a woman who doesn’t wear makeup (especially one who doesn’t look “perfect” without it) I can help other women and girls find the confidence to do the same. 
• My decision not to wear makeup is helping my health. Not only will my skin be visibly clearer, but I am not damaging my overall well being by applying toxins onto my body (fun fact: the last time the US Government updated it’s list of banned ingredients in cosmetics was like, in the 40s. God knows what’s in there). 
• My decision not to wear makeup takes a lot of bravery in a world that tells women that they are ugly and worthless without it. I am allowed to be proud of myself. 
• My decision not to wear makeup is a truthful and honest representation of who I am. I’m not perfect inside, and it’s okay not to be perfect outside. What matters is that I am being brave enough to be my most authentic self. 

Want to make a break but not ready? Here are some small things you can do that might help

• if you wear more than one product, see what happens if you take one out of the mix. For example if you wear mascara and foundation, try wearing just one of them. See how that feels for you. If you wear a lot of different products, try phasing them out one by one.
• Try going makeup-free on the weekend, or just while spending time with people you trust, especially other women. Being surrounded by loved ones helps us feel good about ourselves even in circumstances in which we aren’t used to feeling good about ourselves.
• Become accustomed to seeing yourself without makeup by removing it immediately after coming home. 
• Stop looking at magazines/fashion and beauty blogs, etc. Please believe that material featuring “flawless” women is designed to condition you to think that this is what you should look like. Even when you consciously know it’s all fake, you still end up feeling shitty that you don’t match up, so avoid it altogether and find some other reading material that’s interesting to you. 
• Educate yourself on the makeup and beauty industry in general. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is a good place to start. Understand that there is a lot of money to be made by making you feel worthless. Research the health risks of wearing makeup. 
• Go somewhere overnight and “forget” to take your makeup with you. Exist as you are, unapologetically, the next day. See how it feels. See how it could feel.
• If you are still buying cosmetics, buy from minority owned brands. 
• If you are critical of what it means to perform femininity from a feminist analysis and want to unlearn other habits along with makeup, start with those first (the makeup was hardest for me so I left it for last). Wear non-constricting clothes that you can move around in. Stop removing your body hair. Once you learn to prioritize your physical comfort in other areas, going makeup free will become easier.
• Seek the company of women who don’t wear makeup/aren’t feminine, who are confident, well rounded people. 

That’s all I got for now! I might add to this post later if I remember more things. Hope some of this is helpful!