bisexuelledoe:

happibeans:

Radfems, stop saying “tr/nny”. Just stop.

Some of us really need to keep this “rude feminism” in check. Radical feminism doesn’t excuse you from saying really disgusting things for the sake of “women’s liberation”.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through a radfem Instagram page and I came across a post with a comment that wasn’t right to me:

When I first got into radical feminism, “tr/nny” was thrown around a lot. It didn’t bother me at first because I followed many rudefems and thought their insults and aggression was entertaining and kinda inspirational (to not give a fuck about saying things so controversial, yet true, and so blunt and fierce was the kind of confidence and assertiveness I looked up to). The impact of the word to the libfems and TRAs that opposed it didn’t seem like anything to be react so fatalistically over like they did, especially considering the weight of the harm they inflict with their misogynistic, homophobic, and racist rhetoric, wacktivism, and even violent threats and assaults.

But then I came across some posts that basically discussed and addressed the “rudefems” vs. “nicefems” tactics. To my surprise it’s actually a touchy subject in this community. The posts were mainly by radfems that didn’t see the effectiveness or completely opposed the impulsive and incessant hostility and aggression of “rudefems”. Some called them “nicefems”.

At first I didn’t agree with the “nicefems”, if you will, and instead sided with other radfems that pointed out how being “nice” didnt get women anywhere, especially when we are expected to be nice even after the subjugation by the hands of men we have faced for millennia. But later, I considered moreso the validity of such messages addressing “rudefem” hostility. By being exposed to those posts addressing the issue of rude feminism, I paid more attention and realized the ineffectiveness of being overtly and immediately hostile with name calling in particular. As a result, the dehumanizing aspects in the word “tr/nny”, although does not share the same institutional and generational impact and intention as the n-word like I’ve seen libfems and TRAs try, become more clear, and whenever I see radfems use it, I cringe in disappointment and slight disgust.

“Tr/nny” is a slur. We shouldn’t say it because it doesn’t just insult the harmful TRAs and trans people we call out and criticize, it dehumanizes them. There is no need to say such a word that encompasses all trans folks and intends to deems them inferior and subhuman because of their transness. It’s a homophobic slur, rooted in reprhensuon toward the gender non conformity of a minority composed largely of homosexuals (or at least it used to). In a way, it’s also ableist because it dehumanizes people with dysphoria who chose to transition (socially and/or hormonally/surgically) as a way to alleviate the pain of their medical condition. All around “tr/nny” is a nasty word and we are not above anything to keep using it to insult trans people (even TIMs).

That comment above didn’t just bother me because it used the t-slur against a trans person. It’s bothered me because of how that person specified the race of the trans person in question, Laverne Cox, right next to that slur.

I usually ignore and roll my eyes at the sight of a radfem using the t-slur questionably but when I read what that person wrote, it felt different. “Black tr/nny” made me physically feel different, like a brief but actual cringe and weird feeling in my chest, when I read it. It was racist.

I can no longer sit idly by or ignore it when radfems say some really nasty shit. I have voiced my issues with other things that have been said about other issues, and even though I am new to the Instagram radfem community, I knew I had to confront that person about their words; I can’t see and let people I’m supposed to look up to, learn from, and have sorority with say such harmful things. So I confronted that woman:

I could tell she was a rudefem, not just by her bio, but by her response (edit: I forgot to add her response to my first comment):

So focused in being dismissive and patronizing, she seemingly deliberately missed the point. Rude. So I responded again, giving them a little bit of the same energy she gave me, when what she gave me at first was uncalled for:

Then…. This. Shit:

I was not having it. I was not rude to her. I didn’t want to antagonize her. I simply wanted to tell her to consider that what she said was very problematic and that even in our anger as feminists we can cross unacceptable lines. But no. Being rude and fierce is more important than “nuance” and listening.

She was incredibly patronizing, condescending, arrogant, dismissive; she was rude. It was so uncalled for and in her doing so she exposed the racist in her. I responded with the same energy to address her nasty attitude and make a general statement about what her behavior reflected in our community:

Our anger is a reaction to our oppression and is justified but cannot be unlimited.

We need to be better in checking each other in our words and expressions.

Our feminism doesn’t call for or represent such ugliness and hostility, even toward the people we criticize.

I am not telling you to be less assertive and fierce in the face of our oppressors and opposers; I’m not telling you to be “nice”. I’m saying that we as radfems are not above anyone to say such nasty things then deflect concerns about what we say just because we are fighting for our liberation.

We should start by recognizing that “tr/nny” is a slur against trans people that we should stop using in our activism/commentary. We should know better than to use a dehumanizing slur targeting a minority. Even though the trans community is hella problematic and over the years has gained attention and impunity to regress into intense misogyny, homophobia, and racism that harms women in particular, we should not stoop so low, just as low, and dehumanize trans people with such a word intended to encompass all trans people as inferior.

We should know better. So we should do better.

people in the notes really not getting the difference between being nice and not using slurs 👀

in tonight’s edition of very specific kinds of people i can’t fucking stand:

kassasaurus-rex:

 men who drive fucking gigantic shiny pickups that they obviously just have as ego-boosters who fucking tailgate you on an empty stretch of freeway at night and they’ve replaced their headlights with fucking military-grade 500 proton scatter billion lumen searchlights that they fucking utterly blind you with while honking for you to get out of your lane because they just desperately have to go a full 40 miles over the speed limit or their dick will just jump clean off their balls and hurl itself out their window in shame