-A woman came in with a skirt made of neckties. Just. Neckties, all strung together to make a skirt. She had leggings on underneath, thank god.
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked for the Sistine Chapel
-Been asked where the dinosaurs are
-Been asked where the animals are
-Been asked for “The Bitch With The Pitcher” (Vermeer’s “Woman with a Water Pitcher,” by the way)
-Been asked for “The Girl With The Pearl Earring”
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Got bored and learned the name of every single one of the Buddhas
-Got bored and learned the name of five Chinese dynasties (long day in Asian Art)
-Chilled in the Buddha room
-Watched someone escorted out for trying to take a nude photo in the Arms and Armor section
-Been asked for the Michelangelo’s, then the Raphael’s, then the Leonardo’s, then the Donatello’s (they were naming ninja turtles)
-Heard curator in Musical Instrument section play Night On Bald Mountain on giant historical pipe organ while laughing maniacally.
-Fielded a day when a filthy counterfit version of the museum program was disseminated among visitors, guiding them to the filthiest art in the museum – such as the painting of Cupid peeing on Venus
-guarded Cupid peeing on Venus
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked if I had seen the First Lady of Mexico (she had gone missing)
-Been asked for that one sculpture of Kronos that is featured in Percy Jackson WHICH DOESN’T EXIST GUYS (directed children to sculptures of Poseidon with trident instead, children were very happy)
-Witnessed two Secret Service Agents get into a swordfight with pieces of packing material.
-been asked by a very polite Fransiscan monk in full brown robes if he had found ‘One of us. He has gone missing.”
-Found missing monk and returned him to the herd
-Coworker was asked for the Ark of the Convenant
-Same coworker was asked for the Baseball Hall of Fame
-stopped about 15,000 people from poking that one lion statue in the nuts
-saw a woman in a banana suit with banana shoes take a picture in front of an Egyptian temple
-Been asked for the Mona Lisas (plural)
I’ve got more but this is what I remember for now.
I would have paid money to witness the Night on Bald Mountain incident.
Just when we thought octopuses couldn’t be any weirder, it turns out that they and their cephalopod brethren evolve differently from nearly every other organism on the planet.
In a surprising twist, scientists have discovered that octopuses,
along with some squid and cuttlefish species, routinely edit their RNA
(ribonucleic acid) sequences to adapt to their environment.
This is weird because that’s really not how adaptations usually
happen in multicellular animals. When an organism changes in some
fundamental way, it typically starts with a genetic mutation – a change
to the DNA.
Really interesting short read for those interested in evolution.
stupid non-cephalopodes: evolve through a relatively stable updating of genetic matrices
grand cephalopod savants: biohacking into the nature mainframe and leaving eldritch comments in the engine’s source. what the fuck is a “stable release”
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