You don’t need to do complicated anything to be a witch. It’s already in your blood. But some of you might like to do small practices here and there – and this post is for you. In no way does everyone have to do witchcraft to be a witch – so don’t be offended because this post is only for the people who want to practice.
Drink green tea – green tea is full of antioxidants which clean your witch blood, and detox your body of any curses or bad vibes. Only witches drink green tea as we have evolved especially to metabolise it and use the energy to feed our chakras!
Paint your nails black – black nails are fundamentally witchy. Goths who paint their nails black are appropriating witch culture. Black nails activate a focal point to draw sphere energy from Malkuth.
Collect rocks – rocks are sacred to Aphrodite. Collecting rocks and putting them on her altar make you age in reverse – getting younger every day. Avoid crystals though, these are actually alien eggs made to look attractive so you’ll collect them, giving them the perfect opportunity to slowly drain your lifeforce for their growth.
Sing to the moon – Selene is the witch mother, and she should be worshiped. Every full moon, coat yourself in goats blood until you shine black in the moonlight. Screach at her like a hatchling bird until she opens her mouth and feeds you regurgitated worms.
“Sorry I’m late” INFP Edition In chronological order.
I was watching the sunrise over breakfast and got lost in a daydream.
I plotted out an entire book in the shower.
I started listening to music.
I heard this new song and had to listen to it on repeat for an hour.
I stared at my closet for 15 minutes trying to decide which outfit best expressed my current mood.
I started reading/writing.
I was dealing with the existential crisis I have on a daily basis.
I spent half an hour thinking about how I currently felt about eating what I had earlier decided to eat for lunch.
Someone asked me for my opinion.
I got lost in a daydream again.
I was lying on my bed for an hour just crying into oblivion.
I started reading/writing again.
I decided to start studying a new language right this minute.
I was looking around Esty for something that perfectly expresses my personality. I didn’t find anything.
I lost track of time because I don’t keep track of time.
My life is a lovely combination of four, six, seven, ten, twelve, thirteen & fifteen. But mostly seven & fifteen. I love being an INFP – wouldn’t change a thing
My life in five bullet points – Five, six, seven, nine, fifteen
happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists
Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.
Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam
Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.
-A woman came in with a skirt made of neckties. Just. Neckties, all strung together to make a skirt. She had leggings on underneath, thank god.
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked for the Sistine Chapel
-Been asked where the dinosaurs are
-Been asked where the animals are
-Been asked for “The Bitch With The Pitcher” (Vermeer’s “Woman with a Water Pitcher,” by the way)
-Been asked for “The Girl With The Pearl Earring”
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Got bored and learned the name of every single one of the Buddhas
-Got bored and learned the name of five Chinese dynasties (long day in Asian Art)
-Chilled in the Buddha room
-Watched someone escorted out for trying to take a nude photo in the Arms and Armor section
-Been asked for the Michelangelo’s, then the Raphael’s, then the Leonardo’s, then the Donatello’s (they were naming ninja turtles)
-Heard curator in Musical Instrument section play Night On Bald Mountain on giant historical pipe organ while laughing maniacally.
-Fielded a day when a filthy counterfit version of the museum program was disseminated among visitors, guiding them to the filthiest art in the museum – such as the painting of Cupid peeing on Venus
-guarded Cupid peeing on Venus
-Been asked for the Mona Lisa
-Been asked if I had seen the First Lady of Mexico (she had gone missing)
-Been asked for that one sculpture of Kronos that is featured in Percy Jackson WHICH DOESN’T EXIST GUYS (directed children to sculptures of Poseidon with trident instead, children were very happy)
-Witnessed two Secret Service Agents get into a swordfight with pieces of packing material.
-been asked by a very polite Fransiscan monk in full brown robes if he had found ‘One of us. He has gone missing.”
-Found missing monk and returned him to the herd
-Coworker was asked for the Ark of the Convenant
-Same coworker was asked for the Baseball Hall of Fame
-stopped about 15,000 people from poking that one lion statue in the nuts
-saw a woman in a banana suit with banana shoes take a picture in front of an Egyptian temple
-Been asked for the Mona Lisas (plural)
I’ve got more but this is what I remember for now.
I would have paid money to witness the Night on Bald Mountain incident.
look I don’t want to tell anyone what to do but if you go down that path you will wake up a thousand years later and all your great-grandchildren will be dead
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