“jealousy is so disgusting” “anger is so toxic” did u know? these are emotions every human has
I’ve always been a fan of an analogy I heard once. Your emotions are like one of the lights on your car’s dash. When one of them turns on, it means you need to check under the hood and fix them. It’s not bad that the light turned on, per se, and it doesn’t always mean something is broken. But what IS toxic, dangerous, and likely to break something, is when you let that light stay on, pretending it’s normal, until that braking fluid finally fails and you crash into someone, or your engine fails completely.
Feel jealous. Feel anger.
Just don’t let it fester. You need to look inside of yourself, find out why you’re feeling the way you are, and bring yourself to a satisfied, stable state of mind. You can look at philosophy, meditation/introspection, religion, or actual therapy, or at least talking to someone about it. You’ll find you’re much more content and happy when you do something about those feelings, and come to some sort of conclusion or resolution.
That is a wonderful way of looking at it, thankyou. Makes me feel better about myself when I DO feel that way.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self
And regardless of how you feel, you are accountable for your behaviors. If you’re jealous or angry you have options about how you process those and the choices you make. If you choose to be harmful to others you are still accountable for those behaviors.
Feelings aren’t necessarily toxic, but behaviors can be.
i cant believe people are Still in all seriousness trying to claim sappho was bi like how gullible are yall
some jokester in the 10th century: lol ya sappho totally had a husband his name was Machoman Penisdude or whatever lmao
lesbophobes in 2018: i KNEW IT !!!
there is no way to put this lightly: this is a transmisogynistic joke about sappho i’ve seen made a few times and it is actively harmful to trans lesbians and trans women overall
damn, even a dead woman’s boundaries are harming trans women. the nerve of rejecting dick from beyond the grave….
MORE FAKEFEM AIDEN WITH THIER DICKWORSHIPPING DEMANDS
NO I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR TRANS CULT MALE WANNEB CRAP
I FIGHT FOR SOLEY FOR WOMEN & GIRLS NOT YOU AIDEN ASSHOLES WHO THINK YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS –NEWS FLASH YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL OTHER WOMEN TO ME TOUGH DEAL WITH IT.
I HATE MEN AND AS LONG AS YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR TRANSCULT STATUS & MALE WANNABE BULLSHIT I DON’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME OR OUR MOVEMENT WHICH IS ANTI-GENDERSHIT AS DEFAULT.
GENDER HARMS WOMEN AS IS PRETENDING MEN CAN BE RADFEM OR LESBIANS. I’M NOT FUCKING PLAYING ALONG WITH YOUR INSANITY. NOR DO I WANT TO PROMOTE YOUR SEXIST SELF HARMING VIEWS ON WOMEN/GIRLS IN RADICAL FEMINISM THAT NEED PROTECTION FROM TRANSING THEMSELVES FOR NOT FITTING GENDER ROLES LIKE YOU CHOICE TO DO.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE WITH NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN WHO WANTS TO ID AS ONE OF OUR OPPRESSORS. GO JOIN THE MRA.
TRUST ME I DON’T OWE YOU SHIT OR RESPECT ANY OF YOUR DICK WORSHIPPING GENDER SHYT AIDEN ASSHOLE NONSENSE.
DIE MAD HAND M”AIDENS
A real gender-noncomforming Female acknowledges her sex, sex based oppression and dresses how she pleases. Because she knows that wearing pants, a suit, a tuxedo will not change her sex and she knows that Females are capable of being stronger or as strong, smart and brave as a man without conforming to gender bias.
@samesexattraction You however, encorage gender bias that harms us. Thanks for nothing.
can’t believe i’m famous enough that toppdyke called me, a detransitioned butch woman, an aiden for saying empathy is good
also, “l FIGHT FOR SOLEY FOR WOMEN & GIRLS NOT YOU AIDEN ASSHOLES WHO THINK YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS –NEWS FLASH YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL OTHER WOMEN TO ME TOUGH DEAL WITH IT.” choose one u idiot: either you fight for women “not you aiden assholes” [meaning trans men ARENT women] OR trans men are “just like all other women” to her 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
And look a female who’s alienated from her/his sex is not going to decide to detransition from living as a guy, accept being female, or look nicely at radical feminism if we’re being rude and mean for no good reason. And op you said you had a problem with them “identifying as one of our oppressors”… well guess who else does that? Closeted lesbians. Poc who “act white”. It’s almost instinctual to try and blend in so you don’t get attacked. Yes, it can be taken too far, but just by camouflaging themselves they’re not harming us. We call out the “ex-gays” who try and convert us, but we don’t hate on a lesbian just for pretending to be straight. Some oppressed people have some internalized mess to work through and some are just trying to survive. Being unnecessarily mean and rude to trans men is actually misogynistic, because you’re downplaying the ways our oppression can affect us, and the real struggles dysphoric peeps face. I’m not saying we start saying “pregnant people” or anything, just that, on an individual level, we be respectful and try to understand where they’re coming from.
I know exactly where this fakefem shit is coming from and that it doesn’t belong in radical feminism.
You are so self centered you pretend only Aidens face this shit No they don’t so either join in the battle with other women against gender roles or stfu.
Yes pretending men can be lesbians harms me directly yes pretending gender roles allow men into radical feminism hurts our movement. I swear Aidens are soo self centered they don’t give a damn about other women yet expect other women to cater to them.
No it won’t happen with me either we are on eqaul footing or gtfo of my face.
Ps don’t ever talk to me like i don’t know the struggle of butch lesbian women myself personally.
Okay one I don’t know what an “aiden” is, two, literally none of this is about me. I’m not dysphoric, I’ve never transitioned nor wanted too. I’m just sympathetic to my sisters who are or have. YOU are the one pulling fakefem shit bc YOU are not listening to the struggles of YOUR SISTERS. Listen to other women, support them. Ever met a trans butch female? A butch lesbian who walks the line of being a trans man, and recognizes her/his sex, but may use male pronouns or get top surgery, etc. Trans butches have existed for as long as the butch identity has, and you would have me disrespect them? Butches are my sisters and partners, and I as a femme will not although them to be disrespected. So YOU listen or gtfo
Trans is not real fakefem and neither is her delusional manhood so fuck off. You can be that femme that worship fake dicks all you want but this harms real proud butch women who don’t have to put up with thier or yr male worshipping bullshit.
Radical feminism is not about gendershit nonsense. We know the real meanings of words here.
I don’t worship fake dicks unless it’s plastic sister. Quit acting like you know me and pulling these ridiculous hot takes just because you don’t want to give some basic respect to individual women who’ve got shit going on. And if you’re a butch like you claim, learn some of our butch/femme history or go home. Butches passing as men used to be a matter of survival. I don’t see how recognizing and respecting that harms butches now. And you of all people should know NOTHING about lesbianism is “male worshipping”.
Pretending you want or are a man as a lesbian is male worshipping and homophobic as fuck.
You can’t teach me butch/femme history when you are younger then me and completely wrong as transcult crap is new nonsense.
Get out of radical feminism with your individual choice libfem nonsense you know nothing about radical feminism evensaying this crap radfems don’t believe it.
We talk about female reality and are anti gender as a default becuase of its harms on women as a class, but you soo fake of a radfem you can’t even grasp that basic radfem 101 concept.
You’re right transcult stuff is new nonsense. But you know what isn’t? Homosexuals trying to pass as the opposite sex. And no, the act of a homosexual trying to pass as the opposite sex is NOT homophobic but usually a response to homophobia.
And I will teach whoever. I’ve done my reading.
And I am a radfem. I’m not saying I agree with every trans man ever or that we need to advocate for the choice or something, I’m just saying there’s complex reasons women go down that path, and if we are rude and mean to them before we hear their story we’re not going to get them to hear us. I talk to trans men about radical feminism, and I listen to their struggles, and they listen to me, because I don’t immediately tell them they’re crazy or making things up (you know, classic misogynistic bs?).
Gender does harm women, I absolutely agree. But you get us nowhere by attacking our sisters who have been hurt by gender too. You know why non-dysphoric trans men transition? They’ve been hurt by gender. They’ve been told they’re wrong for wanting to be gnc, or that it must make them a man. And when you attack first, you are just going to seem like another oppressor. And no woman will join us if we’re perceived a a threat to her/his wellbeing.
Trans cult stuff is made up and crazy period. Why promote delusional thoughts.
Gays of the past had to pretend to be the opposite sex to survive, but we didn’t lie to ourselves and eachother. Lesbians didn’t cut our breast off and mutilate our clits to pretend we have dicks. That’s not healthy or progress.
I’m not going to water down our movement to spoon/force feed it to women who choice to side woth the oppressor.
If they are not ready then they need help before calling themselves radfems demanding radfem become libfems to cater to them.
Stop trying to police me from speaking the truth about our movement and where thier fictional bs comes from.
Dickworship is dickworship
Gender is fake and harmful to women.
Men are not lesbians.
These are just facts and boo hoo boo if it hurts anyone feels.
I’m not trying to police you about talking about our movement I’m asking you to BE HALF-DECENT to people on an individual basis who’ve probably never heard of radical feminism and need it. Using he/him for females when you’re having solo conversations is not watering down radical feminism it’s using tact. I consider it politeness but you could also see it as a rhetorical concept.
I’m not promoting delusional thoughts, I’m just not trying to introduce them to facts via ice bucket challenge. And personally if a woman becomes a radfem but doesn’t fully detransition, I’ll ask them why rather than assume the reasons for myself. It’s called constructive dialog.
Internalized misogyny and homophobia do make you lie to yourself, so I’m sure there was a dash of that in the past, but I agree no where near the levels of today. And no, they didn’t cut their breasts off, but binding was common practice, and still extremely harmful. And still is. And the transcult likes to silence the harm it does. I want women to be educated, and explore their reasons for binding or hormones or surgery.
And you talk about women “getting help” before coming to radical feminism if they’re not ready, but who are they supposed to get that from but us??? Pretty big logic hole there
Males cannot be lesbians, agreed. But TIFs can.
Saying gender is fake implies it isn’t real. But it is, it’s a very powerful social construct, institution, and set of ideals. Gender does not exist as some internal feeling~~, true, but in order to be harmful something first has to be real.
MORE FAKEFEM AIDEN WITH THIER DICKWORSHIPPING DEMANDS
NO I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR TRANS CULT MALE WANNEB CRAP
I FIGHT FOR SOLEY FOR WOMEN & GIRLS NOT YOU AIDEN ASSHOLES WHO THINK YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS –NEWS FLASH YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL OTHER WOMEN TO ME TOUGH DEAL WITH IT.
I HATE MEN AND AS LONG AS YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR TRANSCULT STATUS & MALE WANNABE BULLSHIT I DON’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME OR OUR MOVEMENT WHICH IS ANTI-GENDERSHIT AS DEFAULT.
GENDER HARMS WOMEN AS IS PRETENDING MEN CAN BE RADFEM OR LESBIANS. I’M NOT FUCKING PLAYING ALONG WITH YOUR INSANITY. NOR DO I WANT TO PROMOTE YOUR SEXIST SELF HARMING VIEWS ON WOMEN/GIRLS IN RADICAL FEMINISM THAT NEED PROTECTION FROM TRANSING THEMSELVES FOR NOT FITTING GENDER ROLES LIKE YOU CHOICE TO DO.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE WITH NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN WHO WANTS TO ID AS ONE OF OUR OPPRESSORS. GO JOIN THE MRA.
TRUST ME I DON’T OWE YOU SHIT OR RESPECT ANY OF YOUR DICK WORSHIPPING GENDER SHYT AIDEN ASSHOLE NONSENSE.
DIE MAD HAND M”AIDENS
A real gender-noncomforming Female acknowledges her sex, sex based oppression and dresses how she pleases. Because she knows that wearing pants, a suit, a tuxedo will not change her sex and she knows that Females are capable of being stronger or as strong, smart and brave as a man without conforming to gender bias.
@samesexattraction You however, encorage gender bias that harms us. Thanks for nothing.
can’t believe i’m famous enough that toppdyke called me, a detransitioned butch woman, an aiden for saying empathy is good
also, “l FIGHT FOR SOLEY FOR WOMEN & GIRLS NOT YOU AIDEN ASSHOLES WHO THINK YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS –NEWS FLASH YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALL OTHER WOMEN TO ME TOUGH DEAL WITH IT.” choose one u idiot: either you fight for women “not you aiden assholes” [meaning trans men ARENT women] OR trans men are “just like all other women” to her 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
And look a female who’s alienated from her/his sex is not going to decide to detransition from living as a guy, accept being female, or look nicely at radical feminism if we’re being rude and mean for no good reason. And op you said you had a problem with them “identifying as one of our oppressors”… well guess who else does that? Closeted lesbians. Poc who “act white”. It’s almost instinctual to try and blend in so you don’t get attacked. Yes, it can be taken too far, but just by camouflaging themselves they’re not harming us. We call out the “ex-gays” who try and convert us, but we don’t hate on a lesbian just for pretending to be straight. Some oppressed people have some internalized mess to work through and some are just trying to survive. Being unnecessarily mean and rude to trans men is actually misogynistic, because you’re downplaying the ways our oppression can affect us, and the real struggles dysphoric peeps face. I’m not saying we start saying “pregnant people” or anything, just that, on an individual level, we be respectful and try to understand where they’re coming from.
I know exactly where this fakefem shit is coming from and that it doesn’t belong in radical feminism.
You are so self centered you pretend only Aidens face this shit No they don’t so either join in the battle with other women against gender roles or stfu.
Yes pretending men can be lesbians harms me directly yes pretending gender roles allow men into radical feminism hurts our movement. I swear Aidens are soo self centered they don’t give a damn about other women yet expect other women to cater to them.
No it won’t happen with me either we are on eqaul footing or gtfo of my face.
Ps don’t ever talk to me like i don’t know the struggle of butch lesbian women myself personally.
Okay one I don’t know what an “aiden” is, two, literally none of this is about me. I’m not dysphoric, I’ve never transitioned nor wanted too. I’m just sympathetic to my sisters who are or have. YOU are the one pulling fakefem shit bc YOU are not listening to the struggles of YOUR SISTERS. Listen to other women, support them. Ever met a trans butch female? A butch lesbian who walks the line of being a trans man, and recognizes her/his sex, but may use male pronouns or get top surgery, etc. Trans butches have existed for as long as the butch identity has, and you would have me disrespect them? Butches are my sisters and partners, and I as a femme will not although them to be disrespected. So YOU listen or gtfo
Trans is not real fakefem and neither is her delusional manhood so fuck off. You can be that femme that worship fake dicks all you want but this harms real proud butch women who don’t have to put up with thier or yr male worshipping bullshit.
Radical feminism is not about gendershit nonsense. We know the real meanings of words here.
I don’t worship fake dicks unless it’s plastic sister. Quit acting like you know me and pulling these ridiculous hot takes just because you don’t want to give some basic respect to individual women who’ve got shit going on. And if you’re a butch like you claim, learn some of our butch/femme history or go home. Butches passing as men used to be a matter of survival. I don’t see how recognizing and respecting that harms butches now. And you of all people should know NOTHING about lesbianism is “male worshipping”.
Pretending you want or are a man as a lesbian is male worshipping and homophobic as fuck.
You can’t teach me butch/femme history when you are younger then me and completely wrong as transcult crap is new nonsense.
Get out of radical feminism with your individual choice libfem nonsense you know nothing about radical feminism evensaying this crap radfems don’t believe it.
We talk about female reality and are anti gender as a default becuase of its harms on women as a class, but you soo fake of a radfem you can’t even grasp that basic radfem 101 concept.
You’re right transcult stuff is new nonsense. But you know what isn’t? Homosexuals trying to pass as the opposite sex. And no, the act of a homosexual trying to pass as the opposite sex is NOT homophobic but usually a response to homophobia.
And I will teach whoever. I’ve done my reading.
And I am a radfem. I’m not saying I agree with every trans man ever or that we need to advocate for the choice or something, I’m just saying there’s complex reasons women go down that path, and if we are rude and mean to them before we hear their story we’re not going to get them to hear us. I talk to trans men about radical feminism, and I listen to their struggles, and they listen to me, because I don’t immediately tell them they’re crazy or making things up (you know, classic misogynistic bs?).
Gender does harm women, I absolutely agree. But you get us nowhere by attacking our sisters who have been hurt by gender too. You know why non-dysphoric trans men transition? They’ve been hurt by gender. They’ve been told they’re wrong for wanting to be gnc, or that it must make them a man. And when you attack first, you are just going to seem like another oppressor. And no woman will join us if we’re perceived a a threat to her/his wellbeing.
I don’t think it’s realistic to demand from women to refrain from contacting men in many forms, but in this post I want to address the relationship aspect of that specifically.
Do you really think straight women should remain celibate? I know relationships are not the end all be all of life but come on, people still fall in love and yes straight women fall in love with men (shocker). I’d like to get married some day. My feminist beliefs do not turn off my desire for a relationship. I don’t understand why lesbians of all people are suggesting celibacy? I read many posts from lesbians on Tumblr about how they were afraid to end up all alone but now you’re suggesting straight women should do that because they’re not attracted to other women? Not saying homophobia is comparable to that but it seems like a contradiction to me. Of course lesbian women can’t imagine being happy with a man but most women can, even if they are feminists. I’ve also seen bisexual women (jokingly) saying they are much more attracted to women than to men, but statistically speaking, bisexual women are more likely to end up with a man (because their male dating pool is much larger).
I don’t even see how this would end patriarchy? There is a difference between a heterosexual relationship and a patriarchial relationship. A heterosexual relationship is a relationship between a man and a woman and a patriarchial relationship is a relationship that enforces masculine and feminine gender roles onto the people involved. Heterosexual relationships may be more likely to be patriarchial but you get my point.
By suggesting straight women should be celibate, you’re saying male violence in a heterosexual relationship is inevitable (or so common that you shouldn’t take the risk). We should instead teach girls and women how to recognise an abusive relationship, whether their abuser is male or female.
1) “I don’t think it’s realistic to demand from women to refrain from contacting men in many forms”
It is a goal to achieve, for women who have no wishes to be near men to have spaces free from them. No one is threatening to come for you if you date a man, they just know that many, many females lives are improved when men are removed from them. This also sounds very Western of you to say.
2)
“
Do you really think straight women should remain celibate?”
My own mother never dated another man after she gave birth to me (and left my father). She is not sad and pathetic 4ever alone living in a cave somewhere. She is a working, happy, single woman. Her best friend is another woman who got divorced and has been single for just as long as her. Both of them suffered greatly while in their relationships. They know the bullshit men (that they would be attracted to) pull and are not willing to bend over to men. It’s honestly inspiring to think about, for me at least. So many people keep acting like being single is a death sentence. It’s not!
As a bisexual who has not found any male good enough to not choose a woman instead, I would only purposefully seek out relationships with females just because I know I will never be able to fully relate to a male, there will always be a power imbalance and slip ups and accidents that I wouldnt have to deal with if I had just chosen a woman, and then there’s the always possible event that he turns out to be a disgusting porn sick passively or even actively sexist male but now its 2 years in and I’ve wasted so much time, which is just so much more statistically lower a chance to happen if I had chosen a woman instead.
You can’t happily choose a woman, but you can choose health. And just like you implied most bigals are going to end up with a man, what makes you think you’ll find the One Good Man to date versus a casual porn watcher who’ll persuade you to stay at home after you give birth :^)
More importantly…is that for a lot of women marriage to a man is attached to losing independence, and becoming owned. We are lucky to see it as romantic, many cannot, and this whole separation from men idea is for them.
3)
“I’ve also seen bisexual women (jokingly) saying they are much more attracted to women than to men”
Were you just really mad when you got to this part or
4)
“
I don’t even see how this would end patriarchy?”
I’m too tired to go into detail but the gist is if we remove men from having any say in reproduction and female actions they lose control over us. Gotta be away from men to do that.
When woman make their own spaces they have power. If it’s a place for women…it’s not for men…meaning they are separated from men…
A mother to a rapist son, would you blame her for failing to properly educate him? A wife to a pornsick husband who beats the kids, is it her fault for not “fixing” him through marriage? The teacher to the kid who shoots up a school: their fault??
You can spend time personally working on making your bf / child / student / the world a better person, but we all know society (patriarchy in action) and their own decisions made them who they are. Fight patriarchy on a personal level, sure, but let people make spaces free from males entirely if they don’t want to do excessive emotional labor. And let them advocate that other people do the same.
5) “We should instead teach girls and women how to recognise an abusive relationship, whether their abuser is male or female.”
We both know the statistics of who is more likely to do what.
Srsly, SPOT on.
This is a great response. Separatism is the best way we have to end patriarchy. Celibacy is not only an option, it’s an option that women have been taking for centuries, living happy and fulfilled.
Gotta admit though, my eyes rolled so hard at the “bisexual women (jokingly) saying they are much more attracted to women” and then I fucking lost my shit at the gender-neutral abuser part.
Honestly, it’s like most radfems go full libfem once the topic of separatism is approached.
“Well some women WANT to be with men!” (Like: “Well some women WANT to wear make up!”)
“Well what about women who are happy with being with men?” (Like: “Well some women are happy with wearing make up!”)
And this idea that since there are many women who want to stay with men, feminism should focus on that (Much like how feminism should focus on women who want to adhere to patriarchal beauty standards and fully engage in patriarchal practices).
Also we already know that factually, stastically, empirically, long-term romantic relationships with men harm women (here’s an article on het marriage and how it advantages men but not women). And I think the problem with a lot of the radfems that are opposed to separatism is that they think they’re not included in those statistics. I had a long discussion once on another platform with a woman who described herself as having a profound hatred of separatism, and she kept dismissing my statistics because they “didn’t apply to her”. Like, she felt like there was something special and unique about her relationship with a man but could provide no tangible evidence for that other than “I have emotional/sexual reasons for liking this man”. When we have plenty of tangible evidence – both scientifically-collected (through large surveys, with statistical analyses) and anecdotal (the plethora of happy divorced women vs miserable married women that seem to be in every family in my culture) – that het relationships are bad for women. Therefore, separatism is not only viable but beneficial, even (especially?) for straight women.
OP says that there’s a difference between “heterosexual relationships” and “patriarchal relationships”. But what’s the difference beyond “I like my man and therefore I think he’s different than literally all the other men whose behaviour I criticize”? Heterosexuality =/= patriarchy, AKA they’re not exactly the same thing, but heterosexuality is part of patriarchy. It is a core tenant of it. Also, rereading that part made me realize that OP kind of implied that non-het relationships COULD be patriarchal, which… no?
Exactly. When heterosexuality is referred to as an institution, people interpret this as saying that heterosexuality is a choice. It isn’t. The institution of heterosexuality refers to the societal acceptance and encouragement of heterosexuality as the norm, to the detriment of other sexualities. There is a patriarchal influence which elevates heterosexuality and degrades homosexuality because heterosexuality grants men access to women (a.k.a. heteropatriarchy).
when you’re a kid and you’re feeling weird and detached and you fall asleep in the late afternoon with school clothes still on and you wake up and its dark and dinner is almost done and time feels like a thick jelly
thick jelly……I can’t believe someone put words to that feeling…….thank you
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