happyhomosexual:

I’ve been thinking about like… brain plasticity today, how things can seem forever that really aren’t, how things can change over time. For significant portions and different times of my life I have wished to wake up as a cis man, just wake up with a male body & history. I used to think about how if I’d been given the option I would have taken it, of COURSE i’d take it. I didn’t want to be a trans man, I just wanted to have been male.

The idea seems repulsive to me now. Not as in disgusting or something judgmental towards others who might feel like this, but rather, the idea is almost scary! I just don’t have that desire. If the hypothetical magic situation came by and I was asked if I wanted to, I’d run in the opposite direction.  The last several years of my life have been spent bonding almost SOLELY with women, lesbians, butches, trans people; people who I have bonded with on the basis of something we share. Not coincidentally these have been the happiest years of my life. And though it is easy for me to explain this mental change with “I wouldn’t give up these connections now,” that’s an explanation, and not what happened on an emotional level. Its not so conscious as that. My brain changed. The pathways of my thinking are literally different now because of the ways I have healed and bonded and organized and lived my life, I think. I see the many ways that I can live and breathe, the DEPTH of female experiences, in ways I was too distanced from myself to know emotionally before.

I’m not saying that I don’t experience dysphoria anymore; I have a significant amount of distress around my chest, particularly the projection of being “mismatched.” But there has been a huge shift in my conceptualization, my body desires. I used to want to *be* *male*, be the male version of things, idolized male experiences of gender nonconformity rather than reconciling with my own. I can honestly say now that I have… no jealousy or desire towards maleness itself. No desire for attraction to maleness in any way. I am… disinterested in it. I don’t even look at images of my old male idol dysphoria-inducing figures anymore… and I’m not saying that I don’t still crave the images of idealized bodies that are not mine sometimes, but… its not foreign, its what is within the realm of possibility for people with bodies like mine, firmly. I even still like masculine coded language and conceptualizations and certainly presentation… and its so firmly rooted in female tradition. If I had kids I’d be a dad… because that feels playful to me, almost tongue in cheek. 

This sounds dumb but I just don’t think maleness itself is cool anymore. Young me used to just subconsciously think male versions of whatever was just… cooler, at least when applied to myself. Like, being whatever, a writer or musician… it was just more desirable if you were male. I can honestly say I just don’t feel like that now; in fact, the exact opposite. I know women way too intimately now to ever allow myself to be fooled into thinking that anything they do isn’t just the absolute coolest version of it.

And I’m also just like… so! much! happier! Things actually make sense now and I don’t want to destroy myself and be made anew! Young me would never believe it. 

Its just like, neat and reassuring that no matter how I identify myself in the future, whatever I look like, I will literally never not be able to name my own reality ever again; I really know on an emotional level who I am and who I’m like and where I’ve been, & I really know that I wouldn’t change it. 

I saw your post about emphaty towars dysphoric females/transmen and you talked like twice about gow women are pressured to transition. I’ve never seen someone talk about it, so like, what do you mean?

odykerain:

afablovingafab:

gnc women are constantly asked whether we are trans/when we are transitioning in LGBT spaces. When I tell people my pronouns are she/her, people act like I’m either in the closet, weird/bad, and/or no longer worth listening to. I have friends who’ve been asked by DOCTORS whether they know about transitioning/if they want to transition or had them say that transitioning would be good for them. When young girls talk about their discomfort with femininity in lgbt spaces, they are often told that they’re “probably trans” (this has happened to me). When all the females who look like you that you know irl are transitioning/trans-identified, it feels like that’s what your only option. I really can’t stress enough that people act like you *should* be trans when you’re a gnc woman, or that you are trans but dont realize it yet and act disappointed (at the very least) when you say that you aren’t in many lgbt spaces. over time, even if you don’t have people telling you directly that you should be trans (which still happens to a lot of us), the little things add up when they’re consistently experienced. one woman in “gender troubles: the butches” expressed it perfectly: it’s like if everyone around you constantly asked things like “are you on a diet?” or “when are you going on a diet?” unprompted, it makes you feel like “maybe i should go on a diet”

(other gnc women should add on with stuff they’ve experienced because this is only stuff that I or my friends have experienced)

I have had my she/her pronouns repeatedly ignored and forcibly been given they/them pronouns, both before my transition and since detransitioning. When I expressed unease in the idea of transitioning, I was told that “anyone who questions their gender identity remotely is probably not cis”, no one ever telling me that GNC people question their identity constantly because of the pressures of social gender roles. My Aunt consistently told me she was never surprised that I came out as trans because I didn’t like make up or dresses and there was no way I could be a girl because of it. The GSA I was apart of asked me multiple times if I’d thought about hormones when I was in high school. I was told by doctors that I was an obvious case for transition because I was already so masculine and had been since long before going to someone about my dysphoria. People treated me like shit when I was “just” a butch woman, pushing me down flights of stairs and sexually harassing me on the regular, but the LGBT community in my school finally started to support me once I said I was trans and suddenly the bullying became a lot less – and when it did happen, there was always someone there to stick up for me, because the “socially woke” kids in my school felt they could stroke their egos better by protecting the trans kid than they ever felt protecting lesbians. I saw messages like the tweet I posted up a few weeks back that “d*kes are just broke trans people”, implying that if we had more money, we’d all be on hormones. When I detransitioned, I was asked how I would start to make myself more female again, and I consistently get asked when I’m going to start dressing more femininely and when will I get breast reconstruction or when will I make my voice higher – and have had it implied because I have no interest in this, I must be “agender” or like I’ll inevitably end up on hormones again.

There’s a lot more I’m probably missing, but it not only pressured GNC women to transition, but can also pressure them into staying transitioned even for those who don’t want to do it anymore because you feel like you have no other option.

happyhomosexual:

I’ve been thinking about like… brain plasticity today, how things can seem forever that really aren’t, how things can change over time. For significant portions and different times of my life I have wished to wake up as a cis man, just wake up with a male body & history. I used to think about how if I’d been given the option I would have taken it, of COURSE i’d take it. I didn’t want to be a trans man, I just wanted to have been male.

The idea seems repulsive to me now. Not as in disgusting or something judgmental towards others who might feel like this, but rather, the idea is almost scary! I just don’t have that desire. If the hypothetical magic situation came by and I was asked if I wanted to, I’d run in the opposite direction.  The last several years of my life have been spent bonding almost SOLELY with women, lesbians, butches, trans people; people who I have bonded with on the basis of something we share. Not coincidentally these have been the happiest years of my life. And though it is easy for me to explain this mental change with “I wouldn’t give up these connections now,” that’s an explanation, and not what happened on an emotional level. Its not so conscious as that. My brain changed. The pathways of my thinking are literally different now because of the ways I have healed and bonded and organized and lived my life, I think. I see the many ways that I can live and breathe, the DEPTH of female experiences, in ways I was too distanced from myself to know emotionally before.

I’m not saying that I don’t experience dysphoria anymore; I have a significant amount of distress around my chest, particularly the projection of being “mismatched.” But there has been a huge shift in my conceptualization, my body desires. I used to want to *be* *male*, be the male version of things, idolized male experiences of gender nonconformity rather than reconciling with my own. I can honestly say now that I have… no jealousy or desire towards maleness itself. No desire for attraction to maleness in any way. I am… disinterested in it. I don’t even look at images of my old male idol dysphoria-inducing figures anymore… and I’m not saying that I don’t still crave the images of idealized bodies that are not mine sometimes, but… its not foreign, its what is within the realm of possibility for people with bodies like mine, firmly. I even still like masculine coded language and conceptualizations and certainly presentation… and its so firmly rooted in female tradition. If I had kids I’d be a dad… because that feels playful to me, almost tongue in cheek. 

This sounds dumb but I just don’t think maleness itself is cool anymore. Young me used to just subconsciously think male versions of whatever was just… cooler, at least when applied to myself. Like, being whatever, a writer or musician… it was just more desirable if you were male. I can honestly say I just don’t feel like that now; in fact, the exact opposite. I know women way too intimately now to ever allow myself to be fooled into thinking that anything they do isn’t just the absolute coolest version of it.

And I’m also just like… so! much! happier! Things actually make sense now and I don’t want to destroy myself and be made anew! Young me would never believe it. 

Its just like, neat and reassuring that no matter how I identify myself in the future, whatever I look like, I will literally never not be able to name my own reality ever again; I really know on an emotional level who I am and who I’m like and where I’ve been, & I really know that I wouldn’t change it. 

womyn-are-rad:

Newbie radfem: terfs and radical feminists are different!! I’m not a terf I’m a radical feminist!!!

Me: *sips my tea whistfully* terf is a meaningless word that is cast upon women to silence them. Those who use the word do not even know it’s meaning and simply use it against anyone including those who do not align themselves with radical feminist ideology. Terf is not a category of abusive women, but a category of women who simply do not bow down to kiss the feet of trans rights activists and genderists. Those women who believe that they should think critically of everything we do, and that goes on in society. My child, you will always be a terf in their eyes because from women who believe in biology to women who believe in “killing” trans people: It does not matter, because a smart woman who will not subscribe to a certain set of ideals unthinkingly will always be a terf.

people who don’t wear glasses who are writing characters who wear glasses;

justapassingstranger:

ocprompts-andsuch:

cynicalalpaca:

blahhomeequalsnightmare:

sureokaybye:

spinejackel:

writerinhighheels:

pipermccloud:

rainy-suggestion:

connormurphweed:

they get fogged up when we drink hot beverages.
they get smudged for no reason.
we will push them up using anything in our area (i.e shoulder, whatever is in my hand, scrunching my nose up so they get pushed up, etc.).
they get knocked off our faces all. the. fucking. time.
when we change clothes we either take them off or they fall off when we pull our shirts off.
we have to clean them after being in the rain.
we own multiple pairs of them, not just one lone pair for our whole lives.
most people don’t wear them in the pool, but some have extra old pairs for the pool (like me).
some people take them off during sex, that’s fine! but some people keep them on.
they don’t get squished into your face when you kiss (most of the time. at least from what i’ve experienced and i’ve got some mf big glasses).
if we look down and look back up while you talk/to peek up at something, we will just peek blindly over the top of them.
we clean them on whatever item of clothing is closest.
some of us have prescription sunglasses and some of us wear contacts when we need to wear sunglasses.
please keep some of these in mind when you write characters with glasses cause y’all who have 20/20 vision keep telling me all characters sleep in their glasses and own the same singular pair from age 6-25 and they never clean them.

( there’s this but you missed a few iconic glasses traits
– “where’d I put my glasses” (is wearing them)
– new glasses getting scratched on basically nothing. where’d the nick come from? we just don’t know.
– forgetting you’re wearing synthetic material and just smudge the junk on your glasses around
– after doing so, proceeding to hunt down any friend who is wearing a more cottony material
– getting eyelashes on your glasses
– stabbing yourself in the face with the arm of your glasses
– “woah are you blind?”
– “how many fingers am I holding up??”
– walking into a warm room from the cold and suddenly being unable to see because your glasses fogged up
– going outside and everything is Super Crisp 1080p
– having three pairs of glasses and putting all of them at once
– “aw dude you have transition lenses? lucky.”
– the non-glasses scrutinising squint
– taking off your glasses and suddenly you’re a different entity entirely
– if you’re too good for taking off your glasses when dressing/undressing, realising you didn’t pull the collar of a shirt out enough and subjecting to your fate )

-For female characters wearing eye makeup is pretty much useless

– the reason why is because no matter what we do, the mascara will smear on our glasses

– thinking “Oh, there’s a little smudge. I’ll just clean it quickly”, then taking the glasses off and wondering how the hell you could see with what looks like three layers of dirt on them

– giving your loved one a little kiss but in the wrong angle so their nose touches your glasses

– the look™ when you’re in your bed lying on the side with your glasses on (aka the glasses are skewed)

– the sigh when you reach for your glasses and instead of grabbing them, you just knocked them onto the floor

– blindly feeling around for your glasses. yes, we all have velma moments.

– alt: if you have prescription sunglasses. wearing those to find your glasses when you misplaced them

– the “how blind are you compared to me” friends with glasses trade off

– Falcon Vision headache when you get a new prescription

– trying on all the fun frames when you need a new pair, but picking a pair that are similar to your old pair in the end

– alt: you do get a fun new pair and the wait for someone to ask “did you get a new pair of glasses?” (it’s like a bold new haircut but for your eyes)

– holding them up to the light and whispering “holy shit how can i see through these” because of all the junk

– having friends put your glasses on you but they put the arm on your ear instead of behind it

– taking 150000000 pictures when buying new glasses

– glasses tan

– that weird white residue on the sides from your hair products

– owning the spray cleaner for 10 minutes and then loosing it

As a teen

– having parents pock out lenses

– they dont like the pair you chose

– (blind parent w/out glasses or contacts) them asking to try on your glasses then proceeding to say, “nope, still blinder than you”

– not noticing details until you take off your glasses

– having to consistently check if they’re dirty; they’re get dirty every time

– losing your glasses on a school day and thinking , “fml”

– 20/20 people asking if they can try on your glasses and them saying ,“it’s so blurry, how can you see in these???”

– looking at trees and realizing that they aren’t just green blobs but they have actual individual leaves

– if you have long eyelashes you can kinda feel them brush against the lenses if you try? at least i can. it’s weird

– people push up their glasses differently

– new prescription is amazing like i can actually see again! it’s a miracle!

– without glasses in the dark there are no real objects only blobs of grey

– there are blind spots in your peripheral vision

– exercise can be frustrating if i wear my glasses they fall off bc sweat if i don’t i can’t see shit

– if your glasses are off you will still try to push them up and hit/poke yourself in the face.  you are acutely aware of how dumb you look

– if you have transition lenses you Cant See when you first come inside

-the green residue that build up on the nose pads and stay there no matter how much you try to clean them

-bending over to get something and they just ducking… fall off your face

-not being able to see without them on, and poking your nose to try to focus the lenses that aren’t there

-when the last one works for some reason???

-the trenches dug into your skull along ur temples after wearing them for years

-laying on ur side in be browsing the Internet and the nose pads jumping over ur nose and making a getaway for the edge of ur face

-glasses catching hot spraying liquids like soup or hot oil that actually save ur life and ur eyes

-ur phone falling on ur face is 10x more painful and loud

spencer-shayy:

our-common-condition:

scarred-and-purrfect:

devinnorelle:

2 days later…. Still looking.

haha see it’s funny because we don’t have any

When a trans woman named Cherno Biko admitted to raping a trans man to forcibly impregnate him, that was a stark example that the current gender identity of trans people do not innoculate them from experiencing or perpetuating sexism. 

All males have male privilege. It can be as dramatic as never being aborted before birth due to your biological maleness or as small as being raised to value your strength and curiosity over your decorative value.

This entire post is a lot of smug white males pretending sex-based oppression doesn’t exist.

If transwomen didn’t have male privilege y’all wouldn’t constantly crawl over each other to cater to their every whim.

You don’t treat transwomen like women. You treat them like men. If you treated transwomen like women, you would be ignoring everything they say and not taking them seriously. You wouldn’t be elevating their voices above all else.

Transwomen are men, and men lie. Men won’t admit they have privilege. They won’t acknowledge it. They’ll pretend they’re the most oppressed victims ever while being the most violent of oppressors.

This post is pure gaslighting. You all know full well transwomen have male privilege.

Source: devinnorelle

thevaginamonoblogs:

lovingoaf:

alrightevans:

jane austen: this character is going to be the purest, sweetest, prettiest, kindest character i have ever written
jane austen: everybody will love her
jane austen: she is her mother’s favourite
jane austen: a rich, kind, handsome bachelor falls instantly in love with her
jane austen: the heroine looks up to her
jane austen: she has never done anything wrong in her entire life
jane austen: if she has any character flaws at all its that she is TOO much of an absolute sweetheart
jane austen: and i will call her…..
jane austen: jane 🙂

2018 its gonna be jane austen levels of self love ONLY

Maybe 2019 then